whats the difrence between hitler and you
one didnt keep posting on twiter about killing them selfs
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A BONE-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a S-pine tree?
So my sister is a feminist I asked her what do you to hear a rape joke she said no I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek Together we can stop this shit
🤔 😳 👨 👨 👨 👨 Why do four polish 👍 👍 heteroflexable men like 🙃 to suck on four of the cow's udders 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 😻 because a bull has only one
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
One erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
A Vampire goes to the Bakery:
Vampire🧛♂️: „One Bun please.“
Bäcker👩🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“
Vampir🧛♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Duck walks Into a bar the duck says to the bartender hey bartender got any bread bartender says no then the duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says NO duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says no and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar duck says hey bartender got any nails bartender says no the duck says well then bartender got any bread
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr Jones's lesson. Mr Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill"
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did
Q: what’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf hitler?
A: One got to finish a race
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
