One Jokes

Q: What did one snake say to the other?

A: Nothing because they are both dead.

That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.

Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.

What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?

Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝

One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.

he gay

The image shows Megamind, a blue animated character, looking up. There is a smaller figure standing near the side of his face. In the background is a second person looking at Megamind. Text above the image reads, "When your friend tells your crush that you like her so you tell his crush he's gay." Text on the image says: "Oh you're a villain alright, just not a super one!"

When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...

Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.

What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?

HomeGoods ;)

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.