Old jokes

Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.

Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?

Because it was High School.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?

Because it was over 18 years old.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?

How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?

They are all boomers in the end.

Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?

In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.

A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.

The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.

Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.