Old

Old jokes

Priest

    • What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

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    • Girl

    • So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.

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    • Queen

    • The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"

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    • Orphan

    • What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

    Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

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    • Old memes

    Old

    • Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

    Priest

    • A priest walks into a wine store.

    "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

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    • Baby

    • What starts with M and ends with carriage?

    This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.

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    • Kid

    • What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

    Neither do ever grow old.

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    • Grandmother

    • "Knock knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Steve!"

    "Steve who?"

    Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.

    Santa Claus

    • One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.

    Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"

    "Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"

    "I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."

    Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."

    Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."

    Santa: "Done!"

    Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."

    Santa: "Done!"

    Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"

    Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."

    Man: "Okay. Let's do it."

    So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.

    After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"

    Man: "I am 35 years old."

    Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"

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    • Rape

    • My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

    We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

    House

    • You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

    Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

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