Ocean jokes
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.