Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Ocean Jokes
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
