Occupation jokes
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷