Occupation jokes
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
"Wanna hear a construction joke?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Wait, I'm still working on it!"
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Bassline.
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.