Object jokes
Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What's something red that is bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.