Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
Why was the number 10 afraid?
Because it was with 9 and 11, and it makes 911.
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21!