Numbers jokes
I want your weight, not your phone number.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
2 7 73 53.
I'll give you time, figure it out.
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
Why were 7, 8, and 10 scared?
Answer: 9/11, of course!
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.