Numbers jokes
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Why was the number 10 scared? Because bro was stuck between 9/11.
Why is six scared of seven? Because 7 8 9.
Then why was 10 scared? Because he was between 9/11.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Why is 10 afraid? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).