Numbers jokes

Bobby had 54 dicks (54).

He took 33 pills a month (5433).

Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).

(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.

It's a sad state of affairs.

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

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