Numbers jokes
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Why is 5 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7, 8.
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my was kicked, let's be friends?
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.