Number jokes

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.

She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”

The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”

The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

Why is there no phone in China?

Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4

What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!

What's the square root of your dead?

9/11.

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 buckle some more.

5, 6 Nike kicks!

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?

Because they can’t even.

Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.