Now jokes
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
freshfry, we need to talk now...
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
Memes
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Nnnbgfdddddrr.
Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.
Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
There used to be Wonder Woman.
Now we wonder, what is a woman?
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?