Nothing jokes
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
Don't listen.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Why do Inbred White Trash Racists talk so much shit?
Answer: Because deep down inside, they KNOW that they are nothing but PATHETIC LOSERS!
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!