Not jokes
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
Memes
Every 911 joke isn't that good.
Well, at least not until they come crashing down.
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!
It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.
I'm not gay, dick.
Why did you say not to?
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.