Not jokes
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
Every 911 joke isn't that good.
Well, at least not until they come crashing down.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
Why do orphans not know Dom Toretto?
Dom Toretto cares about family.
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.