Not jokes
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?
Memes
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.
"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."
- Captain Jack Sparrow
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.