Not jokes

Why do orphans not know Dom Toretto?

Dom Toretto cares about family.

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.

I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?

Not slapping the ass at Hooters.

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?

"You're too young to smoke!"

That's not even a bad joke-

Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.