Not jokes

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.

Why are orphans not that good at baseball?

They can never hit a homerun.

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

"UwU my balls says mommy."

"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

I'm not gay, dick.

What do you call an animal that smells?

A smelly-phant.

That joke is really not funny.

Why did you say not to?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Cows say, "Moo, not who."

Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.

Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?

Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.