Not jokes

I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.

Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?

His hide-and-seek skills.

Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?

I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.

Roses are red, that much is true.

But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!

How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?

What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?

One is wanted and one's not.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.

Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he's not coming.

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.