Noise jokes

What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?

School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?

Unnecessary.

Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?

A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

A mouse is just like a ball bearing.

Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.

What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.

What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

They both make noise when you throw them.

Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?

They moan louder than your speakers.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

What do we want? Racecar noises!

When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!

Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?

They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!

When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”