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Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn’t get what he wanted. I told me friend there’s a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him “The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a ‘hole’ lot of fun.”

Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the p.... of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”? Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!

What do you get when you have a annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.

What do you call a annoying emo kid, a nuseance

What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?

90% of America’s population

why did stephen hawkins wife get annoyed with him? He had an affair with Alexa

A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him “why are you late?” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake” Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him “why are you late” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake”, The last kid walks in and the teacher says “why are you late?..and why are you wet?” and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!

What was the knight’s name that sat at the round table?

CIRCUMFERENCE

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

a hot dog and a banana had a race who won

the WIENER

The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a Copycat

My friend was annoying me with bird puns I realized toucan play at this game

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing “Dame Tu Cosita” , and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy’s mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit and the shower, and Jimmy yells “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP”

How do you annoy Pinocchio? Ask him “Do you always tell lies?” (think about it)

if hi=hi?

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

A guy was annoyed in a store, I walk up to him and said, whats wrong buddy? don’t worry it’s not like you’re on a abandoned Isle!"

Whats the difference between mark zuckerburg and a lizard

There is no difference