Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.
Because I am an orphan.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
Titanic: ight I need a place to CRASH tonight
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
