Night jokes

Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.

It's my fort knight.

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.

*I was actually up all night watching.*

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

What do bats like to eat?

Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂

What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?

Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!