Worst Jokes Ever

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

Why do cops never put orphans in jail?

Because they aren't wanted.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Mi-hee-lk.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?

Milk-hee-hee Way.

What do you call a baby on the battlefield?

Free shield!

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?

Their dad never came back with the milk.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

I heard you were looking for a stud...

I already have the STD; all I need is you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.

Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."