Worst Jokes Ever
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
What do you call a retard?
Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go