Worst Jokes Ever
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What's the fastest cake? Scone!
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.