Worst Jokes Ever
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
We can only see 90 degrees.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they are fucking assholes.