Worst Jokes Ever
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?
One can feed a family.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"