Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Even Michael Jordan can't dunk from your hairline! π€£π€£
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you canβt say you werenβt warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Hi. Hhhh yrddd.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. π₯΅
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: β οΈ
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 frπ΅βπ«
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: Heβs in the middle of 9/11.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. π€
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"