Worst Jokes Ever
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
"Fuck me."
That's what she said.
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)