Worst Jokes Ever
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
I would make a clock joke, but I don't have time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
Stephen Hawking only went to hell because he couldn't get up the stairway to heaven.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
The person who is reading this.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.