Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
Conor's life.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)