Worst Jokes Ever

I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!

What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.

What's the difference between me and a bus?

I'm not on fire...

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Deez nuts!

GOT EEMMMMMMMM!

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

Laugh.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

What do you call a gay cactus?

A "prick."

What do stomata use to fill their pools?

Chlor-ine.

A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?

Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Why do emos cut themselves?

To play noughts and crosses.

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.

Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!

My friends: Hi to my little friend!

Kasper has a tiny penis.