Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!