Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"