A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!
Hehehehehe.
What the hehehehehehe?
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
Wanna hear a joke?
This site.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Two times four is eight, now stop f***ing asking me!
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
I have friends.
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
