Worst Jokes Ever
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
Sauron said, "Eye see all."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jerk.
Jerk who?
This website who!
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Head look like a mf gorilla pop.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.