Worst Jokes Ever
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"
I walked towards him.
"I prefer slit," I said.
"Why?" He asked.
"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?
Me.
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
My parents love me.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."