Worst Jokes Ever
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
This is a joke in itself.
Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
My Butterfingers slipped.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Two gay kids made their version of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of lattes.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
This is not a joke.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.