Worst Jokes Ever
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
What do you call an Israeli strike against Gaza?
A Kike Strike!
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Asian pregnancy test:
Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.
Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.
I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.