Worst Jokes Ever
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
Q: What is the hardest part to eat on a cabbage?
A: The wheelchair.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
Yo mama so fat, She the iceberg.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Hint: he didn’t.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.