Worst Jokes Ever
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.