Worst Jokes Ever
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Why are we here?
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
I watched a movie about bones. It was spine-tingling!