Worst Jokes Ever

Corn flake.

Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.

We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.

What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.

NASA = Not Africa North America. That's what NASA stands for.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

Gun + Backpack = Fun!

Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

Roses are red, my name is Dan...

TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!

Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.

The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.