Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Mr. Nobody: Water you thinkin's happenin', Ol' Mr. Atlantic?
Mr. Atlantic: Something Smells Fishy...
Mr. Nobody: Well, duh, you idiot! You're an Ocean!
Mr. Atlantic: WTH!?!?????
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.