Worst Jokes Ever
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Sub to Pwediepie!
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.