Worst Jokes Ever
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?
Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.
Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Soy un chacho.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
Why do people have sex? Because they're dumb.