Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
Pen15
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
Can orphans eat at family restaurants?
Ur fat.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Your fat!
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
I tried to eat a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
Stop it, Superman is stupid, ugly, and nothing.
God help me, please!
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
Ur mom gay.
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.