My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
Wack.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
What do you call a group of masturbating cows? Beef stroganoff
Why couldn't the kid with down syndrome play football. because he got all the Downs.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
I have a dad.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
