Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard? Neither did she
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
Quiz: Turn what for what?
A Joke
Suck my butts, queer.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
