What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
Why do the cheetahs always beat ya? Because they beetah.
murder murder suicide by police
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
What's the difference between a catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
Jow do you make a tissue dance you put a boghie in it
Why does an orphan play soccer because it’s the only love they get
