Worst Jokes Ever
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.
Goats are so lazy these days. Computers have more RAM.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.