Worst Jokes Ever
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Rape jokes aren't funny.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.