Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.
Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”
Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
You are family.