Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
How come none of my friends have dungeons? Oddly enough, they all have "rape dungeons."
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Where are crackheads from?
OHIGHo
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
none
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
What's brown and sticky? A stick with poop on it.
Or a stick with poo on it.
What is a meatball without spaghetti? A cow.
Why don't I poop Windex? Because I Pledge to do my doodie!
Put some Windex on it.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make a run vhaleka.
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make run "vhaleka."
