Worst Jokes Ever
What do planets read?
Comet books.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
'Cause all the fans have left.
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.