Worst Jokes Ever
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
Biden
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
What games do bats like to play at recess?
Why are skeletons so calm?
What do you read on Halloween?
What's a witch's favorite subject?
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
I’ll never forget my father’s last words...
Oh fuck, it’s a bus!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you get when you add 5 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 200 + 10?
Completely confuse you!
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.